Finale

We have nearly come to the end. It a bit of genius television programming, CBS has scheduled the season finale of the Amazing Race to go up against the NFC Championship game-a move that should get some executive fired by midnight Sunday night. Brett Favre vs. Daddy is really no contest. For one, Brett isn't a creepy jerk. There are other examples. Regardless, I had to watch it last night once I returned from my Grandma's memorial service.
We lost our chance to see Jen and Nate lose on the very final leg of the race, as they were eliminated last week. It was pointed out that there was a certain charm to seeing Jen get eliminated on her birthday, however. Regardless, they are now dead, so we must move forward.
We're now forced to root for Team Daddy. Team Hippie, and Team Greatest Generation.
Here we go!
It's always nice to have a review of the full season to remind us how far we've come and how much crying and pissing and moaning we've endured. Truly, we deserve a million dollars. I will graciously accept the money on behalf of us all.
We're all rooting for the hippies to win, right? I mean, it's either them or Team GG, and frankly I cannot approve of giving someone that old a half a million dollars. He'll just blow it on Viagra and Bran. Though nobody wants Team Daddy to win, let's not forget that CBS set up the whole redemption of Daddy so that when they DO win, we won't dislike them as much. Only we all still do dislike them.
We start the last leg in Taipei, which, it has been pointed out, is technically part of China, but I think we can all agree that it would be better as Japan II. The first leg will take them back to American soil in Anchorage, Alaska. They just said it was their final destination city. That can't be where the races ends is it?
It cracks me up that the hippies went to the airline desk at the airport and asked, "Have you seen people like us here yet?" Have we seen a skeleton and pot dealer? No. In what way are they like anyone?
Team Daddy is hiding in the China Airlines Executive Club and they used the Internet to find out more info about their first destination. Everyone freaking out about where Team Daddy is, as they assume they may have gotten on an earlier plane. The typical panic ensues.
All teams are on the same flight to Alaska, just to be fair, for once. That has screwed at least one team in the past and that's no way to end a season. All teams should have a chance to actually finish, rather than get hosed by some airline mess.
As teams prepare for the final leg in Alaska, Stretch from Team GG says. "I've seen Ron (Daddy) run and he's like a ninja," I'm not sure what that means. Fast? Stealthy? Can he run up trees?
After everyone arrives in AK, they discover they have to get to an outfitter store and then a boat launch. Wait, did they just say it's called Shit Creek Boat Launch? OOO-oooh- SHIP Creek. Well, that's too bad. That would've been the perfect end to the race to have everyone paddle up Shit Creek without any oars.
Team GG went to the outfitters and didn't take their gear bag! Idiots! That will probably cost them the win.
First challenge is: Cut the Cod or Crab the Crab. AR producers, you clever rhyming men.
Disgusting! You either have to cut through several enormous dead cod looking for a small clue in a little metal pill box or sort through live crab in a live well full of water. Phil says teams may find themselves in a pinch. Ha!
Team Daddy looks like they're pretty far ahead of everyone else, but this task could really equalize the teams. Whoa! They took the Cut the Cod task and found the clue right away!! Well, crap, it looks like they're gonna run away with this race. The other teams aren't even there yet.
Team GG is totally screwed by not picking up the bag of gear. They're heading back to the store, and they're not happy with each other. Each one is kinda blaming the other. I hope that this doesn't put them out of it, but don't see how it can't. What am I saying? This is the Amazing Race, of course they're not out of it.
Team Hippie is going for Grab the Crab.
Sissy from Team Daddy says, "We're a good team now, We've come along way." Whatever, yo. They are so setting them up to be the winners, I'm really getting angry. Nobody changes their personality because of a vacation!
Grabbing crabs looks painful. Lots of pinching going on.
Team GG is back from getting their gear and Team Hippie is still at the Grab the Crab challenge. Gramps has decided that he's gonna gut some fish. Apparently he's some sort of master gutter? I don't know.
The Hippies were gonna switch from Crab to Cod, but Dirty Hippie found the right crab just in time. And that leaves Team GG at the challenge alone.
Whoa, hold on, Gramps found the clue in the fish pretty fast. They're still in last, but only 3-4 minutes behind (their estimation).
According to the Hippies, Team Daddy is about 20 minutes ahead of them. There's no way they can make up the time, unless Team Daddy totally craps out on the next challenge.
The next task is to ice climb a glacier.
Annnnd, the Hippie's cab doesn't know where the next task is. Ugh. Go!!!
Team GG and the Hippies are neck and neck. Team Daddy is at the Glacier already.
Skinny Hippie loves how much fun she has with Dirty Hippie. Aww, come on, you have to love those two stoned kids, don't you? I actually believe that they like each other.
Daddy is afraid of heights, so he isn't in love with the idea of climbing a glacier even though it's over water. I'm not a big fan of heights either, so I hear ya, dogg.
Daddy says he's afraid of falling. Well, sure, that's the thing about heights. They're high.
Sissy is stuck at the bottom of the glacier. She can't make it over the first hump. And there's only one hump. Of course, she yells out, "Daddy!" in exasperation. Also, she looks ridiculous- her butt all hanging out over the edge. She finally makes it up because it "pulled her through to know that (her) Dad was going to receive her at the top." Receive her? What? Creepy.
Team Hippie is getting to the glacier just as Team Daddy is done climbing.
Next is a helicopter ride to the next task. I'm starting to get a little excited, honestly. I am embarrassed by how much I like this show.
The Hippies made it up the glacier pretty quickly and now they're on the next helicopter. They're busy making out in the helicopter. Perverts.
Okay, the next challenge! Road Block- Teams must organize items from all previous legs of the race in a certain order. It's all very complex and I can't possibly explain it all. It's starting to hurt my brain. Bottom line, there's a million items, but only 10 exact ones fit the requirement order/configuration. It. Be. Hard. Surely this will equalize the playing field? Maybe? I am hoping that Team Daddy won't be first?
Only one member of the team can work on it, so Sissy is doing the task, because she's smart and Daddy can blame her if she screws up. It's win-win.
The Hippies have caught up and Skeletor is doing it for the Hippies. I would've thought Dirty would've done it, because he could have communed with nature to divine the right answer. Dirty says, "She's really smart." Okay, I'll believe that when I see it.
And now Team GG is there! Nick (Stretch) is doing the task for them.
The good news is it's any one's game now!
Wow, the teams are really getting screwed at this task. They're all basically tied, trying to figure it out. They've all submitted answers that are wrong and once that happens, they're really frustrated because there really only appears to be one way to answer this "puzzle". Someone will Ah-Ha their way out of it. My money is on Sissy, she's been the closest and she's not high.
Whoo-Hoo!!! Skeletor got it! Go Team Hippie!!
Teams must now find the Captain Cook statue in Anchorage to get their next clue.
Sissy figured out the puzzle next, but she screamed, "Daddy" as she left, thinking that she just cost them the race. I feel bad for her. He's supportive, but right now as they're watching this, I'll bet he's blaming her.
Teams next have to find the Salmon Hooker (Ha) statue in downtown Anchorage. On foot. Gah!
Hippies appear to be in first, but Team Daddy has the better cab. They've both found the fish statue. It says to go to the finish line. This is it! I forgot how intense these finales are! I'm irrationally excited!!!!
Now to the finish line! Hippies are still in first!!
Gaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! Wait, there's Team Daddy!!!
C'mon Hippies!
Daddy says he learned to be a better person. Whatever!
Run Hippies Run!!!
Yes!
10 cities, 4 continents, nearly 30, 000 miles, TK and Rachel, you are the official winners of the Amazing Race!! Whoo-Hoo, Hippies win!!!
I love this show all over again.