Bargaining with God

I haven't written about my struggle with infertility all that much on this blog because of my own issues about going public with a very painful and private subject, but JMB and I both have a deep faith in God. We have reminded each other throughout this whole ordeal that God has a plan for our family and we just have to trust in him. Except... Sometime it's difficult for me to accept that God's plan may be different than mine. I am always afraid that God's plan is much, much different than my plan. Yes, it's always easy to trust in God- when I agree with him. It's when his plan is vastly different from mine that we have a problem.
During my freshman year in college, I rushed a sorority. All my friends got in and I didn't. I was absolutely devastated, but I survived. The following year, foolishly, I decided to rush again. I figured with more of my friends in the sorority, I would have a better chance. Even though I really didn't want to be in the sorority itself anymore; I just wanted to have more time with my friends. And even though there was a tiny voice inside me that said I shouldn't do it. Well, I rushed, and got cut in the second round. In my opinion, that was God's way of saying to me, "Well, if you aren't going to listen to me that this isn't the right thing to do, then I'm going to have to take action myself."
The summer after graduating from college, I was debating whether or not to break up with my boyfriend of more than two years. I know sometimes he didn't treat me right, but I thought I loved him, and I wanted to get married. I decided to weather the storm. A month later, HE broke up with ME. Again, God took matters into his own hands because I wouldn't take a hint.
Now, I'm trying-again-to figure out what his plan is. I analyze every possible sign, all the while knowing deep down that the ways of God can never be truly understood by humans. I have been prepared for the possibility of adopting my entire life. My backup plan has always been to adopt an Asian baby. Does this mean God has been preparing me for that path? I don't find anything wrong with adopting, but if that is my path, that means I am still several years away from having a child! Thy will be done-but only if it's also MY will.
I've also been anxious about this next cycle. I'm almost done with the Provera and am expecting a cycle day one next week. Then 150mg Clomid to follow a few days later. The hormones make me crazy! I fear that my ovulation problems (or lack thereof) will still be plaguing me, or that even if by some miracle I ovulate, I still won't be able to get pregnant. This morning on my drive to work, I was filled with a sudden peace and relief in remembering that God is charge and he'll make sure everything is OK.
But what does OK mean?