Been sick with food poisoning. I blame the "Turkey Surprise" that I had for lunch on Tuesday. It feels like my intestines are being yanked and pulled in a manner similar to one of those long balloons that clowns form into poodles and monkeys. I hate clowns for exactly this reason. I hope to be up to full speed in the next of couple days. Until then, I will be drinking vodka martinis in hopes of killing any bacteria left in my system.
So, I 've had food poisoning several times before and in case you are looking to take it up as some sort of "Extreme Sport", I'd have to advise against it. If my colon were a symphony of the body, the main performance over the last two days would've been a glorious concerto in 150 movements. The "Turkey Surprise in Ebola Sauce" has morphed into some sort of evil entity, eager to be released again into the world. I have never experienced food that seems to have a genuine grudge against my lower intestinal track. I am curious to know how the colon/Turkey food rift began, but I am only hearing my colon's end of the story. And believe me, she is screaming non-stop about it.
My point is that I have continued to come to work during my bout and frankly, I do not need any external influences making me "queasy". However, when I went to the fountain to get a drink of clear, delicious, safe, life-giving water, I was forced to contemplate something that has bothered me for a while. Perhaps some of you zany engineering blog reader types can assist me in understanding this one: Why, when I am getting a drink of water from the fountain outside of a restroom, does the water pressure fall when someone in the restroom flushes? Why, in the name of all that is holy, are those two sets of pipes in any way related? I want to at least have the illusion that there is a single pipe for my water that's linked from a pure, natural, Colorado spring directly to the water fountain, only to be slowed by some sort of quadruple-filter distillation process. I don't need to be happily sucking in water, only to hear the whhoooooossshhhh sound on the other side of the door as the water dips below the reach of my eager lips.
Someone place a call to the Brita people about this; it is completely unacceptable.
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Actually, it'd be a lot scarier if the pressure INCREASED while drinking from the fountain.
Which reminds me: Weren't water fountains outlawed a few years ago after everybody got too snooty to drink out of the tap, even if they were on the brink of dying from dehydration?
The Coca Cola and Pepsi executives must have been squealing in glee when they realized that they could sell water for the exact same price as a soda...
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