Babs

For a while now, word on the street was that my Ma had read the blog. This rumor was confirmed yesterday afternoon:

Mom: I read your your...um...diary..last night.

Me: Diary? (Dear God, It's me Jenny. Listen, did I leave a little something under the mattress?) Do you mean my Blog?

Mom: Yeah. I don't like to use that word.

Me: What word? Diary?

Mom: No

Me:Read?

Mom: No

Me:Blog?

Mom: Yes and it's a little racy.

Me: Racy. Seriously? You should see what other people blog about. It's all out there. I mean, IT'S ALL OUT THERE. You wouldn't believe..

Mom: I know and that stuff should really be private. But it's funny. You are a very clever girl.

Me: Not really, you are just saying that because you are my Mom. You have to. It's like a Mom law or something.

Mom: No I don't. I could lie.

Me: Are you lying now?

Mom: No, I never lie. You know that.

Me: But you just said...nevermind....thanks, what do you mean racy?

Mom: You know, talking about things that we don't want everyone to know about (spoken in a hushed "she has cancer" kind of whisper)

Me: Everyone? Speaking of...guess what? I even got a comment from someone in Indonesia. I told Jason "Look someone reads my blog in Indonesia!" and he is all "Ah, yeah. That would be spam." Way to burst my bubble dude.
Mom: That's exactly what I mean, I don't like that.

Me: Indonesian people? Mom. Come on. It's 2007, get with the program.

Mom: No, the comments. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to sign up for anything and you can't comment with signing up.
Me: What do you mean sign up for anything? You can comment under anonymous and leave your name.
Mom: But what if I want to remain anonymous?
Me: Do you know the denfinition of anonymous? Then don't write your name.
Mom: Fine. I will leave a comment but with my name that says I want to remain anonymous.
Me: Okay, but I think you might be missing the point. So do you really think it's funny?
Mom: Uh-huh. Except all that stuff that should be private, try to tone it down. Just write about the funny stuff. Keep it breezy.
Me: Funny as in Ha-Ha, funny you should mention that, or funny as in Ross's face?
Mom: Stop it. You know what I mean. Just listen to me, I am your Mother, for the love of Pete.

Speaking of funnies, here are a couple stories that I heard this week:

1.) A few days ago, my friends Kelly and Jenn took their kids to the Natural Science Center here in town. They just opened a new petting zoo and it's all the rage amongst parents in these parts. During their adventure, Kelly's son Nathan got nipped in the bum by a peacock as he was passing through one of the exhibits (please read full details in her blog). Not to worry, he is just a toddler so there was no damage done thanks to his diaper running interference. However, since then Nathan keeps saying "I not LIKE that cock! I not LIKE that cock!" in random public places. Now that's racy....
2.) Today is Jason's birthday. We just got home from a nice meal with the Beale Clan. They have been the subject of previous blog entries, so you know how hilarious I find them. We went back to their house for some cake and ice cream after dinner. While chit-chatting, they started talking about their neighbor. You know, the one who has kept a cat on a chain in their backyard for years. For real. Apparently, sometimes the neighbor even walks said cat on a leash. But here's the kicker: They have a dog inside the house. True Story. I think I might actually be speechless. And that like never happens to me. Ever.