Friends in Low Places

Q:What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
A: Your house back, your job back, and your dog back.
Sometimes I feel like my life could be a country song. For example, this past weekend was a tune of race cars, rednecks, and really sweet mullets. Alas, we all know that a good country song wouldn't be complete without a good cry at the end and today proved to be the last verse. Move over Patsy Cline, I am singing out loud!
Verse One-My Dad and his fiance Debra were in town this holiday weekend and they took us to my first official NASCAR race on Sunday. As an enthusiastic mullet hunter (see below), this was a dream come true and failed to disappoint. They were everywhere!

But the winner of the coveted "Redneck of the Race" award was a woman who cruised BAREFOOT through the stadium AFTER the race. I didn't have the stomach to take a picture, so you will have to use your imagination. I'll set the scene for you. If you haven't been lucky enough to experience a race first hand, most of you have at least seen a landfill. Both contain huge amounts of trash and not nearly enough receptacles to hold it all. Mix together: 12 hours of beating sun, 2.5 million ounces of beer, 13 tons of nacho cheese, and 42,000 gallons of ass sweat. This mixture is the slop that coats the concrete floor of the stadium along your exit route. Now deeply inhale a scent that reeks of dirty diapers filled with Indian food (funniest line in Anchor Man) and feel the slime dripping from the concrete pillars above. Ask your self....would you take off your shoes? I didn't think so.
Verse Two- I had my blood work done to determine my progesterone levels on day 21. As you might know, I never got a positive reading on the home ovulation test. It was for good reason, my progesterone level was a dismal 1.29. The doctor was looking for a 3 to indicate ovulation and 10 would be the norm for day 21 levels. It's official, I am not ovulating. I tried to prepare myself for this result, but it is still a very damaging blow. I held out for a positive outcome until the very end. I talked with Nurse Christa (NC) about the results and the next step is a consultation with Dr. Wrenn (DW) to discuss what our course of action will be. We can't get into see her until June 28th, so it will be yet another long month of waiting. After chatting with NC, I can speculate that she (DW) will order a series of blood tests to determine if I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It can present itself with numerous symptoms and is the likely culprit at this stage. At this point in time, this is all hearsay and we really need to find out what the doctor has to say. In the meantime, I will wait for day 35 , have another blood pregnancy test, and start the provera to jump off another cycle. Hopefully this next appointment will mesh well with timing of the speculated blood work. One funny thing that NC said to me was "Oh good ,you are not ovulating!" Good? Huh? "We can fix that." she said. I really want my house back, my job back, and my dog back. Can you fix that? Rock on Patsy, rock on.