Bay-Bees

A week ago yesterday, some of our dear friends, had their first child together. She is teeny-tiny and appears to be filled with lollipops, gum drops, and cotton candy. Mmmmm. This little slice of heaven pie is named Sydney Elizabeth. Everyone say hi to Sydney!!



Next, on Wednesday of last week, two of our favorite people, had their first child. A perfect bouncing baby boy whom they named William Randolph. Now, I can't stop singing "Big Bad Billy's Sweet William". Everyone say hello to Will!!

Will, age 6 days old, is a genius. I know now that my prime objective is to live his lifestyle. For the foreseeable future, I will be devising a plan wherein I can get other humans to serve me. The basic points for my scheme are as follows:

1. More pacifiers. Whatever happened to sucking on pacifiers? Who says we should have to stop at a certain age? I would love to just pop in a pacifier when things are making me angry. Also, there are many times during meetings that I want to throw a pacifier at a co-worker and tell him/her to chill out. I'm tellin' ya, the world would be a happier place.

2. I want my blankie. I'm not just talking about a security blanket that I use during naps. This would be a complimentary item to the pacifier, to be used in moments of stress, large and small. Inherent in this item comes the ability to lay it down on the floor at any time and take a nap.

3. I want to start using grunting noises to convey every conceivable thought, idea or need. The speaking of actual words only seems to confuse people, so it is my assertion that the grunt and point system is much more practical. The real beauty of this arrangement is that it is a multi-tiered process, wherein if the thought is not understood correctly, I just grunt louder and point with more urgency. It's really a fantastic means of communication.

And finally, these two points are key to my plan:

4. I'm tired. Pick me up and carry me.

5. I am not getting what I want. I will cry until satisfied.

Gotta go now-time for my nap.