Why I Drink

While at work yesterday, I had the following conversation:
Co-Worker: I need you to call Jane.
Me: Why?
Co-Worker: I need you to distract her while I steal her pretzels. I need those pretzels.
Me: Um...like does this make me some kind of accomplice or something?
Co-Worker: Are you going to do it or not? Those pretzels are not going to eat themselves.
Me: Um...OK....Sure.
Later, I overheard this while standing at the fax machine:
Old Co-Worker: You don't know anything about the Beatles.
Young Co-Worker: Sure I do. They were influenced by the Monkees.
I think that pretty much sums up my week so far.....